Friday Funnies: CHURCH FOOTBALL PHRASES

In a never-ending effort to 

attract the unchurched, some

 churches have considered

 translating their unfamiliar

 terminology into familiar 

football phrases.

BLITZ-The strategic play that takes place two seconds after closing prayer as everyone rushes for their favorite restaurant.

BLOCKING-Talking endlessly to the pastor at the church door and keeping everyone else from exiting.

COACH-The children's Christmas program director.

ASSISTANT COACH-Every mother who has a kid in the children's Christmas program.

COMMERCIAL-Announcements.

DRAFT CHOICE-The decision to sit close to an air conditioning vent.

DRAW PLAY-What many children (and not a few adults) do with their bulletins during the service.

END ZONE-The pews.

EXTRA POINT-What you receive when you tell the preacher his sermon was too short.

FIRST QUARTER-What most people put into the Sunday school offering so it looks like they are giving.

FOURTH QUARTER-The amount that makes up the dollar most people put into the Sunday school offering when under peer pressure to give more.

HAIL MARY-Desperate move made by ushers in a last-ditch attempt to get people to put something in the plate.

HALFTIME-The period between Sunday school and worship when many choose to leave.

HOLDING-Passing on the offering place without putting in a cent.

ILLEGAL CONTACT-What gets some church leaders into trouble and out of the ministry…

ILLEGAL MOTION-Leaving before the benediction.

INTERFERENCE-Talking during the organ prelude.

OFFSIDES-When an orchestra member accidentally walks into the choir room.

PASS INTERFERENCE-A parent moving between two teens in the pew to halt the flow of notes back and forth during the sermon.

QUARTERBACK SNEAK-How the pastor gets from the pulpit to the rear door during the benediction.

RAIN DELAY-Baptism

RED DOG-Common strategy performed each Sunday by those who own their own private pew.

SUDDEN DEATH-The penalty to the pastor who preaches more than twenty minutes.

TACKLE-What takes place to the only eligible bachelor at the thirty five-and-over singles enrichment retreat.

TIMEOUT-Refreshment time in the Fellowship Hall.

TWO-MINUTE WARNING-The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT-Usually takes place at a committee meeting to decide on the color of carpet or some other thing.

BENCHWARMER - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or do anything but sit.

BACKFIELD-IN-MOTION - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.

STAYING IN THE POCKET - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.

INSTANT REPLAY - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.

TRAP - You're called on to pray and are asleep.

END RUN - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

FLEX DEFENSE - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

HALFBACK OPTION - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the next Sunday service.

Throwback Thursday - I listen to the Trumpet of Jesus

For throw back Thursday I thought I should revel something about myself.  It was in December 1973 that I prayed to confess my sin and ask Jesus to forgive me and I became a Christian.  I immediately began to listen to Christian music that helped influence my life and theology.  I fell in love with the Word of God and began to devote my life to Him - call into His service.  

One of my favorite groups I listened too is The Imperials.    Here they are as recorded in 1984 at Six Flags over Texas:


I now find it amazing that the group - Classic Imperials are currently on tour.  The music still moves my spirit....

Prayer of St. Francis

As we prepare of our prayer encounter at NRN this evening at 6:30 I was recently reminded of prayer I thought would help us.  We gather to meet in the very Presence of God.  I invite you to join us this evening to pray in spirit and in truth.

Lord, make us instruments of your peace. 

Where there is hatred, let us sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy. 

Grant that we may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. 

For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.

California school bans wearing of the American flag

A federal appeals court will not reconsider a unanimous February ruling upholding the actions of a principal in a Northern California high school who ordered students wearing American flag shirts inside out during a 2010 Cinco de Mayo celebration.

Live Oak High School in the San Jose suburb of Morgan Hill had a prior history of problems between white and Latino students.

Parents and a few lawmakers had argued that the actions violated the students’ Constitutional right to free speech.

In the original ruling, a three-judge panel of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals decided that past problems at the school gave officials sufficient and justifiable reasons for the order. In its opinion, the court said that schools in general have wide latitude in curbing certain civil rights to ensure campus safety.

Last month, the Circuit Court of Appeals announced that a majority of its 29 judges had voted against rehearing the case.

In 2009, a group of Mexican-American students waved a Mexican flag around the Live Oak campus.

Some non-Hispanic students then raised the American flag on a tree, and the two groups exchanged profanity-laced threats.

The next year, after the principal issued the order for students wearing Stars and Stripes shirts to turn them inside-out or go home with an excused absence, the incident garnered national attention as many expressed outrage that students were barred from wearing patriotic clothing.

Three children and their parents sued the school district with the assistance of the American Freedom Law Center and other conservative legal organizations.

William Becker, a lawyer representing the students called Wednesday’s decision “outrageous” and said he’d likely take the case to the U.S. Supreme Court.

“(We) will not allow the politically correct judiciary to insult our flag,” he wrote in his blog.

In February, a three-judge panel ruled that it was not the court’s place to second-guess the school’s anti-violence efforts.

"The past events "made it reasonable for school officials to proceed as though the threat of a potentially violent disturbance was real," Judge M. Margaret McKeown wrote for the panel.

But, in his blog, Becker said wearing an American flag to school is a symbol of patriotism, not aggression.

“The American flag is not a symbol of racism or division,” Becker said. “It is the symbol of freedom and unity. Americans have fought and died to protect that flag, and now we are told to conceal it so we don’t offend Mexican aliens, some of whom entered this country illegally.”

Cinco de Mayo marks the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, when Mexican troops defeated a French army of Napoleon III. In many ways, it is more of a holiday in the U.S. than in Mexico, a celebration of Latino heritage with parades and revelry in many major cities.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.  Published September 18, 2014 Fox News Latino

A young man and the keys....

Hope this speaks to your heart:

Reflection from my message today at NRN - Our Greatest Need

T oday was an awesome day of worship and fellowship at North Raleigh Church of the Nazarene.  Through out the week I have been praying with great expectation about our time together.  I want to express my deepest appreciation to Elvin Barwick, who I fondly refer to as the Pit Master of NRN! His gift to the church and his labor of love for the Lord is a big part of what makes today such a special day for us. 

Last Sunday I shared that the musical group scheduled to be with us for today had cancelled.  It has truly been a God- thing... that Jonathan and Emily Martin have been with us today! 






God has placed an important message upon my heart for today.  The sermon has been preached and the responses have been noted.  I trust several gave their heart to the Lord today and we welcome them into the family of God!   Here are the notes from my message
 I preached today:

If our greatest need had been information, God would have sent us an educator.
If our greatest need had been technology, God would have sent us a scientist.
If our greatest need had been money, God would have sent us an economist.
If our greatest need had been pleasure, God would have sent us an entertainer.
But our greatest need was forgiveness, so God sent us a Savior.

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.                                                       1 Corinthians 1:18

For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God freely and graciously declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.                                                   Romans 3:23-24 NLT

When we sin:

        We procure a DEBT

        We commit a CRIME against God’s law

        We VIOLATE our relationship with God

We need a Savior!

 The person who is lost in a desert or jungle, or who is adrift on a raft in the ocean, needs to be found and rescued. The starving man needs food; the condemned prisoner needs pardon. The person who has been poisoned needs to be cured. Although these needs are vital, you have an even greater one. You are much more than a body. You have a spiritual nature, a soul. Your soul is the spring of real life in you. Without God, though, it is ruined. You are like a person dying of thirst. Life and health for your soul are more important than the most urgent need of your body.

Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned...                                   Romans 5:12

The Bible teaches us that our soul is lost, starving, deathly sick, and condemned to die. 

We need a Savior to find, feed, cure, and pardon him.

    A Savior is your greatest need because you can't save yourself.

· Having Christian parents won't save you.

· Being a church member won't save you.

· Trying to be good won't save you.

· Without a Savior, you can't be saved.

This is the gospel:

   Jesus paid my DEBT

   God, the Father ACCEPTED the payment!

At the Cross:

        My GUILT            was transferred to Christ.

        His GRACE          was transferred to me.

For the grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people. And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God, while we look forward with hope to that wonderful day when the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be revealed.   He gave his life to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us his very own people, totally committed to doing good deeds.              Titus 2:11-14 NLT

When I repent of sin, I am assured by God that Christ himself has already dealt with the guilt of it. At the cross the guilt of that offense was transferred to Christ. He took that sin—the full, objective, legal guilt of it—upon himself to such an extent that my sin became his sin.

Jesus Christ took every hateful thought and adulterous glance and spiteful word and every other sin upon himself. He took that sin to the cross and suffered God’s wrath against it to the point that justice was satisfied. This means that the offense has been truly and fully paid for. It is gone. I am no longer guilty before God! 

But Christ did more than that. Not only did he take away my guilt, but he also gave me his righteousness. This is the great exchange of the gospel that my sin was transferred to him and his righteousness was transferred to me. I am not only not sinful, but I am actually righteous. Because the guilt of the offense is gone the shame is gone as well. Because that sin is no longer my own, the shame is no longer my own.

“I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again.                                                                                               Isaiah 43:25

Preparing for Friends and Family Sunday 2014

Tomorrow is Friends and Family Sunday at North Raleigh Church of the Nazarene.  We begin our worship at 10:30am.  There will be no Connection Classes tomorrow as we prepare for a day of awesome worship following by our annual Southern Pig Pick'in!

Our Special musical guest are Jonathan and Emily Martin:

Jonathan and Emily perform their song "With Joy" live and acoustic: