God wants you to
have a fruitful ministry and become a peacemaker—the kind of leader who heals
broken relationships instead of creating them.
But too often,
there’s conflict. It can destroy relationships, devastate communities, and ruin
ministries. Many pastors have seen unresolved conflict wreak havoc over the
most important areas of their lives.
It’s easy to see
why. Unresolved conflict will block your fellowship with God, prevent answered
prayers, and generally make you miserable.
When you find
yourself in the midst of conflict, here’s a simple five-step, biblical path to
peace.
PLAN a peace meeting. (Matthew
5:24)
Take the
initiative. Don’t wait for the other person to make the first move. It doesn’t
matter if you’re the offended or the offender.It’s always your move.
Take the
initiative because Jesus said so. Plus, it shows that you’re more mature.
You will never
resolve conflict accidentally. You must intentionally deal with it or it will
never go away. Schedule a sit-down, face-to-face meeting. Don’t wait to do this
either. In Matthew 5:24, Jesus emphasizes that you’re to begin this
process “at once” (GNT). It’ll get harder the longer you wait.
EMPATHIZE with their feelings.
(Philippians 5:24)
Once you begin
the peace meeting, start with the other person’s pain. You’re usually thinking
of your own hurts when you’re upset. You need to do the opposite. Think more
about the other person than yourself. Try to understand the pain behind their
angry words. Ask yourself, “How can I help the other person?”
One benefit of
conflict is that it usually leads to greater intimacy in the relationship
because it helps you better understand the other person as you empathize with
their pain.
ATTACK the problem, not the
person. (Proverbs 15:1)
You can’t focus
on fixing the problem and fixing the blame at the same time. If you go to the
peace meeting thinking you’ll blame the other person, then forget it. You can’t
make peace like that. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer quiets
anger, but a harsh one stirs it up” (GNT).
Engage your mind
before you engage your mouth. Then say helpful words, not ones that tear the
other person down. As Paul writes in Ephesians 4:29, use “only helpful
words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed” (GNT).
COOPERATE as much as possible.
(Romans 12:18)
Be a
bridge-builder and not a bridge-destroyer. In Romans 12:18, the Bible reminds
us to live at peace with everyone, as much as possible. Your ability to get
along should be a hallmark of the Christian life.
That means you
must be willing to pay the cost. Peacemaking always has a cost. It will cost
your ego and selfishness. You’ll need to give up your desire to always be
right. And when you do, you’ll begin to build bridges.
EMPHASIZE reconciliation, not
resolution.
(2 Corinthians 5:18)
Reconciliation
doesn’t mean you’ll resolve all the problems in your relationship. It simply
means to reestablish the relationship. Often you have legitimate differences in
your relationships and will never fully resolve them. Reconciliation means you
bury the hatchet, not the issue. You keep talking about it, but you talk about
it harmoniously.
Reconciliation
focuses on the relationship, not the problem.
The Bible tells
us in 2 Corinthians 5:18 that God has modeled reconciliation for us. When you
work to reconcile your relationships, you’re doing what God has already done in
your relationship with him. Working toward reconciliation is the most
Christlike thing you can do.
Pastor, you can
become a peacemaker in your home, in your church, and in your community. The
Bible tells us, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called
children of God” (Matthew 5:9 NIV). God gives all of us the ministry
of peacemaking.
So get started
today. Set up the peace meeting. Begin the conversation.
Become a
peacemaker.
Source: By Rick Warren
Oh, How I wish I had read this
in December 2018. The last church I
pastored left me feeling broken in Spirit and feeling alone after a spiritual
battle raged. I wish I knew about a PEACE PLAN and held a meeting. If you are a Pastor and facing odds that
could end your service to the Lord; I plead with you to become a peacemaker.
