The
Unplanned Wedding That Scripture Doesn’t Mention
Luke
2:3-4
In Matthew, we last saw Joseph in Bethlehem. In Luke,
Mary was in Ein Karem. Matthew tells us that when Joseph awoke from the dream
in which he was instructed to wed Mary, “he did what the angel of the Lord
commanded him” and took Mary home as his wife. The text presupposes, I believe,
that this took place in Bethlehem. Yet Luke tells us they ended up in Nazareth;
for, as Mary’s pregnancy drew to a close, a census required them to travel to
Bethlehem. So, were they married in Bethlehem or Nazareth? In the companion
book to these reflections, I suggest that after spending three months at Ein Karem
with Elizabeth, Mary returned to Nazareth, Joseph joined her, and they were
married in Nazareth in a “hurry up” wedding.
I officiated at
the wedding of our oldest daughter, Danielle*, a couple of years ago. It was an
exciting and emotional time. She invited us to join her in picking out flowers,
planning the menu for the reception, and selecting her dress. Invitations,
reservations, and a thousand other details went into the planning of the
wedding, most of which were carried out by my wife and daughter. I had the joy
of writing the check! The night of the rehearsal I was a wreck. I kept thinking
back to the times when Danielle was little and I would dance with her in my
arms; or the time she told me I was her hero; or the way she said she would
love me “from here to Jupiter and back again.” And now I was giving her away. I
still get emotional thinking about it.
We can be sure
that Mary and Joseph’s wedding did not take place the way anyone had planned.
The original plans would have been canceled and a hasty wedding and reception
put together. Guests would have understood why the wedding date was moved up.
They would have believed that Joseph had taken advantage of Mary, or that Mary
and Joseph had been unable to control their passions. This would have been the
gossip of the town and perhaps a source of embarrassment to Mary’s parents.
Yet Mary and
Joseph had done nothing wrong. In fact, they were models of faithfulness and
devotion to God. They were obedient, and their obedience came at great personal
cost. Yet others could not understand this.
Have you ever done something that you felt God was
calling you to do but that caused others to question your motives, integrity,
or actions? Or perhaps, you’ve had people gossip about you. If so, you are in
good company. This surely would have been a part of Mary and Joseph’s story.
The truth is, it
is human nature to pass judgment on others, to share “juicy” gossip, and to
assume the worst about others. Perhaps this story, and our own experiences,
might lead us to recall the words of Jesus when he taught his followers to
“take the log out of your own eye” before taking the splinter out of your
neighbor’s eye. He taught them to “do not judge, so that you may not be
judged.” And he told them, “Blessed are you when people insult you and
persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.”1
Is it possible these words of Jesus were shaped in part by the way people
whispered about his mother when he was just a child?
Prayer: Lord, help me not to judge others nor to participate in
gossip. And help me to forgive when others have questioned my motives, my
actions, or my heart. Amen.
1. See Matthew 7:1-5, 5-11
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