Today, Sharron and I celebrate our 36th wedding
anniversary!
As I reflected on
this, I decided to share my list of the top 10 things I have learned in 36
years, in no particular order.
1. My love for
Sharron grows stronger each year we are together. When we first met, I knew God was putting our
lives together. Our first year of
marriage was filled with lessons about ministry and our new relationship. I
introduced Sharron to new foods like potato chips and banana splits.
2. We are so much
stronger together than individually.
Sharron knows my limited strengths and my multitude of weaknesses. She
always knows best for me. She daily
demonstrates forgiveness to me and has learned the importance of allowing me to
process things and then respond.
3. Sharron is a
fantastic mother to our children and even better Grammy to our grandchildren. I did not have a great role model of
parenting, but Sharron believed in me to become the spiritual leader of our
home. I thank God for the spiritual
lessons Sharron taught to our daughters during their early years. She had an
understanding and loving, yet firm, form of discipline for our daughters during
their teen years. I now watch Sharron with our grandchildren and see the joy in
her eyes when she holds them close to her.
4. Sharron is the
book keeper of our finances. I would
be so busy with ministry and responsibilities, I would often forget to pay a
bill or balance our checkbook. Sharron took over this responsibility early in
our marriage and I now understand about household budgets and savings. I was
just used to living pay check to pay check and not leaving much in the bank
between each pay check. Sharron has
brought stability to our finances and we practice biblical stewardship that is
pleasing to God.
5. I need to stay
out of the kitchen! Sharron loves to
bake and cook. I am good at organizing
recipes, but Sharron is the master of the kitchen.
6. I can’t believe
that Sharron still loves to hear me preach.
Each week I spend
hours in preparation of my sermon for Sunday morning. It has become more
complicated with countdowns, video clips, power point, bumper clips and printed
outlines. The time is past when I could
read over a passage several times and preach off the notes I penciled on a
small sticky note. Sharron is very understanding as I sit at the computer for
hours at a time preparing for Sunday and the sermons for the days and months
ahead.
7. Values hold us together. Sharron and I
are different in personalities, motivations, and interests. What has been a
foundation for our marriage are our shared values and priorities. It is vital
to keep values in mind and talk about what is important to both of you at each
stage of life. The glue that has held our marriage together are the Christ
centered, biblical based values we share.
8. We've changed
with life stages. Related to growing up is recognizing the need to adapt to
different life stages. Each stage of life brings particular gifts and
challenges to marriage. Being aware of this and making adjustments has been
critical. Now as empty-nesters we are rediscovering certain freedoms while also
dealing with getting older. It never stops.
9. Sharron is
usually right about me. This is one I hate to admit but it's true. Even if
it is feedback I don't want to hear or I think it is exaggerated or distorted,
there is always some truth I need to hear. Sometimes Sharron has more
confidence in me than I have in myself and I need to hear that too. Learn to
appreciate your spouse as your mirror and see what you may need to adjust.
10. Communication
is vital. Our communication is not recommended for most couples. It is not
modeled from materials I use in counseling, but comes from two flawed
individuals. We are not always calm, but given enough time, we share our
deepest and simplest thoughts with each other.
We are at the stage in our life that we do complete each other’s
sentences. Sharron’s love language needs love and respect and I have learned
the hard way that gifts do not carry the deep meaning of when I really listen
to her and show respect for your perspectives.
Frankly, my love language indicates that I need appreciation, so I love
it when Sharron orders me Trinidad’s from Fannie May.
Today we celebrate 36 year together as we live life to fullest and look forward to many more years as God gives!
The picture on the left was taken the day after our wedding in Charlotte, NC at the reception in Niagara Falls, Canada for Sharron's family.
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