Friday Funnies: Classic Classified Ads - Bloopers

It is hard to believe what you sometimes read in a local newspaper.  Below are several ads that were printed in local newspapers.  Enjoy! 

• For Sale: Outdoor Nativity Scene. No Mary, Joseph, or Jesus. $100.
• Stock up and save. Limit: one. 
• Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential. 
• Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
• 3-year-old teacher needed for preschool. Experience preferred.
• Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
• Auto Repair Service. Free pickup and delivery. Try us once and you’ll never go anywhere again.
• Illiterate? Write today for free help.
• Semi-Annual After-Christmas Sale.
• American Legion Auxiliary Spaghetti Dinner with Salad, Bread, and Dessert—2nd Thursday of every Monday.
• Working electric, self-cleaning oven. $150. Good shape but needs good cleaning.
• Harry Pottery movie poster. Mint condition.
• Jack Russell Terrorist puppies. 5 weeks old. $500.
• Christmas tag-sale: Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
• Lost: White male cat, yellowish green eyes. Deaf. Answers to Spike.
• Wanted: Someone who can speak and write Australian.
• For Sale: Uptight Grand Piano. $150
• Pony For Sale. Looks like small horse.