WORDS OF HOPE FROM A DEPRESSED PASTOR

Sitting early this morning in the coffee shop, I had just finished reading John 15:26–27. I sat in stillness at the word Jesus used to describe the Holy Spirit jumped off the page.

The Advocate, or Comforter.

In Scripture, the Psalmist calls this “Selah” (stop, pause, think). And in the midst of meditating on the words of my Savior, the lyrics in my ear buds caught my attention. 

In Cory Asbury‘s new album Reckless Love, his song, “Water and Dust” spoke these words:

And when everything is falling apart, don’t lose heart.

Between what I just read and the words being sung in my ear, I set my pen to my journal to articulate what this moment was speaking to me. The words Advocate or Comforter have always been a reminder of my rescuer and redeemer during my bouts of depression. When I cannot see where help will come from, I look for someone to be my advocate. When I cannot sense hope, I long for someone to be a comforter.

I don’t know where I’d be without the Lord. Knowing that he is with me, even when I can’t detect him with my senses, has been a huge comfort to me.

Journaling has been a place to process and express for me. It’s a safe place to work through what I’m pondering inside. I find it’s much healthier than throwing out a Facebook status, empowering others to speak into my unprocessed thought while exposing my vulnerability to some that may not be equipped to help. So with ink and paper, I started scratching out a few thoughts.

From there, I began to thumb through my journal. It took me back to October when I shared with our congregation some of my journal thoughts combined with the song, “Let There Be Light,” by Bryan and Katie Torwalt. Why that song? Because during a dark moment, it was my ongoing prayer to God, Lord, would you speak “let there be light” in me.

So today, I thought I’d share those journal thoughts from that dark moment when the Comforter was not just pulling me through a tough season but was working something deeper in me.

Lord, would you speak “let there be light” in me.

It’s the prayer of everyone who’s been hurt by disappointment

When life hits and gave us way more than expected

It’s the cry of the overwhelmed heart; the scream of a tired soul

The aching of desperation; fallen deeper into a bottomless hole

But you understand my darkness, you get the struggle of my inside

So I lift up my eyes asking you to hear my cry

You hover over my chaos ready to create with just one word

Speak Holy Spirit; I need hope in my hurt

Lord would you speak …

It’s the prayer of everyone who feels forgotten

When the devil has convinced them that they’re no longer wanted

When he’s blinded their eyes from seeing the hope of light

When their strength is drained and unable to get in the fight

I‘ve had victory on the mountain, but the valley is nothing but distress.

Lord it’s you I need. I need some hope in my darkness

I call out to the only One who can reach into an unreachable place

I know I can find peace if I could just find your face

Lord I need you to speak …

To every person who thought that nobody cares

To every tired soul, bearing weights too heavy to bear

To those longing to knock but cannot find the door

To those who seek a way out and cannot take any more

Lift up your face, look beyond the valley

The sun may have set behind you but it’s not your finale

There’s a God who creates out of the depths of your chaos

Lift up your head, the Son rises to call us

“Let there be light …”

He is Immanuel; God with us. Not God “gonna be with me” or “was with me.” He is God with you. Right now. Right where you are at. And darkness cannot hide you from him.

To those who find themselves in darkness. Proclaim what you know to be true!

You are not alone. Darkness cannot hide you from God. You have hope. 

Darkness cannot stop his hand. You can get help. Darkness cannot keep you from his rescue. There are people who are reaching out even when you cannot see or sense it.

If you find yourself in a place where you need someone to talk to, reach out. Don’t do this on your own. 

Whether it’s to your pastor, a counselor, a trusted friend or to Anthem of Hope, know that you are not alone in this and the darkness cannot hide you from the presence of God and his outstretched hand.

I love you. I’m praying for you today. There are those around you that can help. 

Source: Dave Barringer (@PDBarringer) is the lead pastor at Kalamazoo First Assembly of God in Portage, Michigan, and the author of Mosaic Marriage. He blogs about pastoring and marriage at PDave.me.