For over 40 years I served in pastoral ministry and have a file of many jokes. There is a humorous saying that a pastor from my generation is known for a sermon structure of a joke, three points and a poem. This is not entirely true but I do believe humor is important in communication of the gospel. With that, here are a few. Probably one of my favorites is the following:
An
elderly pastor was searching his closet for a tie before church one Sunday
morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and
100--$1.00 bills.
He
called his wife into the closet to ask her about the box and its contents.
Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box for the entire 30 years of
marriage. Disappointed and hurt, the pastor asked her “why?”
The
wife replied that she hadn’t wanted to hurt his feelings. He asked how the box
could have hurt his feelings. She said that every time during their marriage
that he delivered a poor sermon, she placed an egg into the box.
The
pastor felt that 3 poor sermons in 30 years was certainly nothing to feel bad
about, so he asked what about the $100.00 for.
She
replied, “Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the neighbor for $1.00!
Here’s
a bonus joke I love to tell:
A
preacher, who shall we say was “humor inspired”, attended a conference to help
encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry. Among the speakers were
many well-known and dynamic speakers.
One
such speaker, boldly approached the pulpit, gathered the entire crowd’s
attention, and said, “the best years of my life were spent in the arms of a
woman that wasn’t my wife!”
The
crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, “And that woman was my mother!”
The
crowd burst into laughter and delivered the rest of his speech, which went
quite well.
The
next week, the pastor decided he’d give this humor thing a try, and used that
joke in his sermon. As he approached the pulpit that sunny Sunday morning, he
tried to rehearse this joke in his head. It suddenly seemed a bit foggy to him.
Getting
to the microphone, he said loudly, “The greatest years of my life were spend in
the arms of another woman that was not my wife!” The congregation inhaled half
the air in the room! After standing there for almost 10 seconds in stunned
silence, trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally
blurred out, “…and I can’t remember who she was!”
Alright,
one final joke for you to enjoy:
As
the elderly man lay dying in his bed, death’s agony was suddenly pushed aside
as he smelled the aroma of his favorite homemade chocolate chip cookies wafting
up the stairs. Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the
bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and
with intense concentration, supported himself down the stairs, gripping the
railing with both hands. In labored breath, he leaned against the doorframe,
gazing wide-eyed into the kitchen.
There,
spread upon the newspapers on the kitchen table, were literally HUNDREDS of his
favorite chocolate chip cookies!
Was
I heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing
to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering
one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees
in a rumpled posture, one hand on the edge of the table. The aged and withering
hand quivering, made its way to a cookie near the edge of the table; feeling
the warm soft dough actually made the pain of his bones subside for a moment.
His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of cookies was already in his
mouth; seemingly bringing him back to life.
He
reached for another cookie. What then, was this sudden stinging that caused his
hand to recoil? He looked to see his wife, still holding a spatula she has just
used to smack his hand.
“Stay
out of those cookies!’ she said, “They’re for your funeral!”
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