Listening
to Understand
by
Scott Stoner
One of the reasons I believe that deep, authentic
listening is rare is that it is challenging to do. It takes time, discipline,
intention, and effort to be fully present to another person when they are
speaking to us. It is challenging not to be distracted. We have to truly focus
our full attention on what they are sharing, working not to be drawn away by
what is going on around us. We have to quiet ourselves internally, putting away
our own thoughts and concerns for the moment. We have to listen with the intent
to truly understand, instead of merely listening to reply. We have to avoid the
temptation to steer the conversation back to our own lives and our concerns.
And we have to offer the invaluable gift of our time and care.
Perhaps another reason we often avoid genuinely listening
to one another, in addition to the intention, time, and effort it takes, is
that there is a certain kind of vulnerability in truly listening. When we
genuinely listen to another person, our perspective may be changed, and we may
gain a more profound respect for the person to whom we are listening.
Interestingly enough, the words conversation and conversion share the same
etymological root. To listen deeply and to enter into authentic conversation
with another person creates the possibility that we may be changed. We risk
being converted in some way when we engage in a conversation where we are
committed to practicing attentive listening.
When we listen to understand rather than simply reply, we
create the opportunity for growth and change for ourselves, as well as for the
person with whom we are connecting.
Making
It Personal:
What are your thoughts on the Covey quote that we often
listen to reply rather than to understand?
How does his quote
speak to you personally? Can you think of a time when you listened deeply to
someone and you were changed by what you heard?
Living
Well Through Lent 2021
Copyright
©2021 Scott Stoner.
All
rights reserved.
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