Listening
for Mercy
by
Heidi J. Kim
As a lay person related to theologians, I find the task of
reflecting on Scripture to be daunting. This week’s Gospel, prevalent in the
end zones of football games, is even more intimidating as it is so well known.
I actually thought about Googling what some biblical scholar had written and
then putting my own spin on their wisdom. Then I thought about my sixth-grade
students and the fact that I was holding myself to a standard of perfection
that I would never demand of them. In fact, I was holding myself to a standard
that even God would not demand of me.
The tyranny of perfectionism permeates our contemporary
culture, and it is relentless. I see it in my students who feel pressured to
perform in ways that may not align with their personal learning goals. I see it
in my colleagues who heroically return to hybrid and distanced classrooms trying
to build relationships and community with students even when the technology
fails. I see it in myself as an educational leader confronting the twin
pandemics of COVID and systemic racism; because I am so busy responding to
everything, it feels like I’m accomplishing nothing.
I see it in people of faith who have responded to social,
economic, epidemiological, and environmental challenges with love and
compassion, who still feel anxious and defeated. I think this relentless
perfectionism is one of the ways that we have embraced darkness in our time. I
spend far too much time regretting what I have not yet done, and this gets in
the way of my doing what I can. It’s exhausting and antithetical to what I
claim to believe as a Christian. And if I can lack compassion for myself, it
permits me to lack compassion for others. I wonder if the extreme polarization
of our time—the mistrust and antipathy that are expressed toward others who do
not worship or vote as we do—is an outgrowth of that dark and sinful focus on
perfectionism.
The readings for today tell a story of God’s mercy for
us, in all of our sinfulness and imperfection. They remind us that we have been
saved by faith, not by our own doing, but as a gift from God. That when we do
what is true, our deeds will have been done in God. In these times when so many
of us are striving to do what is not perfect, but true, may we remember to
listen for God’s mercy and grace for our imperfect humanity.
How might we let go of “perfect” to embrace what is well
and true?
Living
Well Through Lent 2021
Copyright
©2021 Scott Stoner.
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