The
Atheist
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring
all that the “accident of evolution” had created. “What majestic trees! What
powerful rivers! What beautiful animals he said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling
in the bushes behind him. As he turned to look, he saw a 7’ grizzly charging
toward him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder
and saw the bear was closing on him. He tried to run even faster, he was so
scared that tears were streaming down his cheeks. His heart was pumping
frantically as he tried to run even faster.
Just then he tripped on a root and fell to the ground. As
he turned to get up, he saw the bear right on top of him with his paw raised to
kill him. At that instant he cried out, “Oh my God.” Suddenly time stopped –
the bear froze, the forest was silent, the river stopped flowing, and a bright
light shown on the man.
Then a voice came out of the sky saying, “For years you
denied my existence and taught others that I don’t exist. You even credit my
creation to a cosmic accident as you take my name in vain. And now do you
expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I now to count you as a
believer?”
The atheist, ever so proud, looked into the light and
said, “It would be rather hypocritical of me to ask to be a Christian after all
these years, but could you make the bear a Christian?” “Very well,” said the
voice. The light went out, the river started flowing again, the sounds of the
forest started up, and the bear put down his paw.
Then the bear knelt down, bowed his head and said, “Lord,
I thank you for this food which I am about to receive.”
Do
You Know Jesus Christ?
An old nun who was living in a convent next to a
construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to
spend some time with them to correct their ways.
She decided she would take her lunch, sit with the
workers and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over
to the spot where the men were eating.
Sporting a big smile, she walked up to the group and
asked: “And do you men know Jesus Christ? They shook their heads and looked at
each other… somewhat confused.
Then one of the workers looked up into the steelworks and
yelled out, “Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?”
One of the steelworkers yelled down, “Why?”
The worker yelled back, “Cause his wife’s here with his
lunch.”
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