Fried
Chicken
Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I
said, “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been
right, because everyone else in the class laughed.
My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and
I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he
said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much. I do, too.
Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the
principal’s office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too.
Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class
my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was
chicken. She asked me why, just like she’d asked the other children. So I told
her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to
the principal’s office again.
He laughed, and
told me not to do it again. I don’t understand. My parents taught me to be
honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person
we admire most. I told her, “Colonel Sanders.” Guess where I am now…
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The Parrot
There was a mild-mannered pastor who just retired and was
still living at the same parish rectory where he had been pastor many years.
Friends notices he seemed a bit depressed and unsure what
to do with himself. So, they suggested he get a pet, thinking he’d want a dog
or cat. So, the retired Pastor went to a local pet store. Saw a for sale sign
for exotic parrots. The Pastor had a particular weakness for buying things on
sale, so he purchased a parrot.
Now, the parrot had previously been owned by someone else
and had a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was a curse word.
The pastor tried very hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly
saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing
worked.
One day in a moment of desperation, he put the parrot in
the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking and kicking and
screaming, and then, suddenly, there was quiet.
The pastor got frightened that he might have actually
hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped
out onto his extended arm and said: “I’m sorry that I might have offended you
with my language and actions and sincerely ask for your forgiveness. I will
endeavor to correct my behavior.”
The pastor was astounded at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what had changed him. Before he could ask, the parrot looked back toward the freezer and said, “May I ask what the chicken did?”.
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