Real travel
agents have cited these stories and vouched for their truthfulness:
- I had a lady ask for an
aisle seat on the plane so that her hair wouldn't get messed up
by sitting near the window.
- A client called to ask
about a trip to Hawaii. After listening to all the costs, she asked,
“Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to
Hawaii?”
- I got a call from a woman
who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the
flight and the passport information when she interrupted me, saying, “I’m
not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts.
“Trying not to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained,
“Cape Cod is in Massachusetts. Cape Town is in Africa.” Her response . . .
click.
- A man called, furious
about a Florida package we had offered. I asked what was wrong with the
vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried
to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the
state. He replied, “Don’t lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a
very thin state.”
- I got a call from a man
who asked, “Is it possible to see England from Canada?” I said, “No.” He
said, “But they look so close on the map.”
- A client called and asked
if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I
noticed he had a one-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he
wanted to rent a car, he said, “I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I
need a car to drive between the gates to save time.”
- A lady called wanting to
know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and
got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour
ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones.
Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
- A woman called and asked,
“Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know which
luggage belongs to which person?” I said, “No, why do you ask?” She
replied, “Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my
luggage that read FAT, and I’m overweight. Is there any connection?” After
putting her on hold for a minute while I “looked into it” (I was actually
laughing), I came back and explained that the city airport code for Fresno
is FAT and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her
luggage.
- I just got off the phone
with a man who asked, “How do I know which plane to get on?” I asked him
what exactly he meant, to which he replied, “I was told my flight number
is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.”
- A woman called and said,
“I need to fly to Pepsi Cola on one of those computer planes.” I asked if
she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, “Yeah,
whatever.”
- A businessman called
questioning the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a
lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. “No I
don’t, I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.”
I double-checked and, sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told
him this he said, “Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they
have accepted my American Express.”
- A woman called to make
reservations, saying, “I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New
York.” The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent asked, “Are
you sure that’s the name of the town? Yes, what flights do you
have?” replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back
with, “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ve looked up every airport code in the country
and can’t find a Hippopotamus anywhere.” The customer retorted, “Oh, don’t
be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!” The agent scoured a
map of the state of New York and finally offered, “You don’t mean Buffalo,
do you?” “That’s it! I knew it was a big animal!”
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