Here I am Send Me

 

God called to him….And he said, "Here I am." --Exodus 3:4

"Moses’ reply to God revealed that he knew where he was and that he was ready.  Readiness means having a right relationship to God and having the knowledge of where we are.  We are so busy telling God where we would like to go.  Yet the man or woman who is ready for God and His work is the one who receives the prize when the summons comes." --Oswald Chambers, 'My Utmost for His Highest'

To quickly lay out the life of Moses, he was born in Egypt to Hebrew slaves, adopted by Pharaoh's daughter and raised as a prince of Egypt, Then he committed murder and was exiled, either self-imposed as if running for his life or sent into the wilderness by Pharaoh as a sentence.  Scholars estimate Moses was about 40 years in Egypt, 40 years in Midian tending the flocks of his father-in-law Jethro and 40 years leading the tribes of Israel out of bondage and through the wilderness.  Moses did not live to see the Promised Land, as was the original goal.

So Moses is an old man of around 80 when God appears to him on the "back side of the desert" in the form of a burning bush.  Was he ready for the task to which God was about to call him?  Well, yes AND no.  Yes, Moses was ready to listen and, despite some specific objections, willing to act on God's instructions.  And no, he wasn't ready at all,; he was a diamond-in-the-rough and, like a moving car is easier to steer than one sitting still, God began to work miracles through this flawed and sort-of-willing man.

It was a little over thirty years ago when God began appearing to me with some regularity.  The idea of going into ministry was not even something I would have considered, in fact I'm sure I'd have laughed in their face if someone had suggested anything like that.  I was a detective and struggling in a failing marriage--my own version of the back side of some desert.

Trying to improve my relationship with my first wife, I would periodically attend mass with her and interested myself in things that interested her.  She inquired about a youth program called "Teens Encounter Christ," or TEC, that she had attended as a youth in New York state, whether that program or something similar existed locally.  The closest one was operated within the diocese in Kansas City, MO and we involved ourselves in it.

I was not Catholic, but they weren't so awash in volunteers so as to exclude me from participation.  Like Moses, I was ready, but not, and God drew me near to this burning bush, not to ordain me in His service, but to deepen my curiosity and willingness to respond to Him.  And, like Moses, I had objections, I had flaws, I had issues.  I don't know if I was a diamond, but I was certainly in the rough.

TEC, obviously, was not the panacea for my marital problems and the marriage dissolved a year or so later, but that didn't undo what God had started in me, AND He was not done with me.  And, before you ask, my appetite for God was not consistent throughout that time, but THAT did not dissuade Him either.

As Chambers suggests above, I knew where I was and, when I was ready, God appeared to me as a different sort of burning bush.  Whether or not you FEEL like you know where you are, you do--know, that is.  You know in your gut where you are even if your heart is all over the place, twisting in the shifting winds of life.  What's more, in spite of your fickle emotions, GOD knows exactly where you are and when you're ready to take notice of a burning bush, to peak your curiosity, to draw you nearer and make you evermore into what He created you to be from the beginning.

You are NOT too far gone.  You are NOT too old, or too broken, or too stubborn, or too . . . anything.  Wherever you are, God comes to YOU.  He meets you where you are and He will invite you, over and over, as many times as it takes, to trust Him to give you the life you've always wanted.  You can refuse His offer, but that doesn't mean He'll go away.  The road to Him is ALWAYS open and HE is the one who travels it to get to YOU.

You might think God is concealing something from you, or denying you something you want.  He's not telling you "No" necessarily.  More likely He's saying, "Come closer, I want to show you something."  When your burning bush appears, be ready, because it may appear at first to be uninviting, but it might well be the change you've been hoping for.