Monday, June 9, 2014

Life lessons from a long, loving marriage. Happy Anniversary to my wife Sharron - 36 years!

Today, Sharron and I celebrate our 36th wedding anniversary!

As I reflected on this, I decided to share my list of the top 10 things         I have learned in 36 years, in no particular order.





1. My love for Sharron grows stronger each year we are together.  When we first met,    I knew God was putting our lives together.  Our first year of marriage was filled with lessons about ministry and our new relationship. I introduced Sharron to new foods like potato chips and banana splits.

2. We are so much stronger together than individually.  Sharron knows my limited strengths and my multitude of weaknesses. She always knows best for me.  She daily demonstrates forgiveness to me and has learned the importance of allowing me to process things and then respond.  

3. Sharron is a fantastic mother to our children and even better Grammy to our grandchildren.  I did not have a great role model of parenting, but Sharron believed in me to become the spiritual leader of our home.  I thank God for the spiritual lessons Sharron taught to our daughters during their early years. She had an understanding and loving, yet firm, form of discipline for our daughters during their teen years. I now watch Sharron with our grandchildren and see the joy in her eyes when she holds them close to her.

4. Sharron is the book keeper of our finances.  I would be so busy with ministry and responsibilities, I would often forget to pay a bill or balance our checkbook. Sharron took over this responsibility early in our marriage and I now understand about household budgets and savings. I was just used to living pay check to pay check and not leaving much in the bank between each pay check.  Sharron has brought stability to our finances and we practice biblical stewardship that is pleasing to God.

5. I need to stay out of the kitchen!  Sharron loves to bake and cook.  I am good at organizing recipes, but Sharron is the master of the kitchen.

6. I can’t believe that Sharron still loves to hear me preach.  
Each week I spend hours in preparation of my sermon for Sunday morning. It has become more complicated with countdowns, video clips, power point, bumper clips and printed outlines.  The time is past when I could read over a passage several times and preach off the notes I penciled on a small sticky note. Sharron is very understanding as I sit at the computer for hours at a time preparing for Sunday and the sermons for the days and months ahead.

7.  Values hold us together. Sharron and I are different in personalities, motivations, and interests. What has been a foundation for our marriage are our shared values and priorities. It is vital to keep values in mind and talk about what is important to both of you at each stage of life. The glue that has held our marriage together are the Christ centered, biblical based values we share.

8. We've changed with life stages. Related to growing up is recognizing the need to adapt to different life stages. Each stage of life brings particular gifts and challenges to marriage. Being aware of this and making adjustments has been critical. Now as empty-nesters we are rediscovering certain freedoms while also dealing with getting older. It never stops.

9. Sharron is usually right about me. This is one I hate to admit but it's true. Even if it is feedback I don't want to hear or I think it is exaggerated or distorted, there is always some truth I need to hear. Sometimes Sharron has more confidence in me than I have in myself and I need to hear that too. Learn to appreciate your spouse as your mirror and see what you may need to adjust.

10. Communication is vital. Our communication is not recommended for most couples. It is not modeled from materials I use in counseling, but comes from two flawed individuals. We are not always calm, but given enough time, we share our deepest and simplest thoughts with each other.  We are at the stage in our life that we do complete each other’s sentences. Sharron’s love language needs love and respect and I have learned the hard way that gifts do not carry the deep meaning of when I really listen to her and show respect for your perspectives.  Frankly, my love language indicates that I need appreciation, so I love it when Sharron orders me Trinidad’s from Fannie May.


This is simply a collection of thoughts I felt inclined to share.  Sharron and I have a committed love.  Jesus Christ is ever present and in the center of our marriage. We live by the mantra that God is in control and that nothing happens to us that is not Father filtered.  

Today we celebrate 36 year together as we live life to fullest and look forward to many more years as God gives! 

The picture on the left was taken the day after our wedding in Charlotte, NC at the reception in Niagara Falls, Canada for Sharron's family.

No comments: