It never gets easier. No matter how many times you hear about it.
And we're hearing about it a lot more
lately. In epidemic numbers.
Could it happen to your pastor?
Another pastor announced to his stunned congregation that
he couldn't do it anymore. He loved them. He was proud of the kingdom work
they'd done together for years. But he'd gotten his priorities out of whack.
He'd put all his time and energy into the church and had neglected his own
spiritual and emotional health.
He asked the congregation to pray for him and his family as
they faced the next difficult phase of their lives – not knowing what that
phase would bring.
Then this pastor gathered the congregation of 20 people to
the front of the church to pray together one last time. Him for them. Them for
him and his family. They prayed, hugged, cried and said goodbye.
As I write this blog post, that pastor is packing up the
family's belongings in a rental van to move from the small town they've called
home for more than a decade. For now, they'll live with his wife's parents to
recoup and recover.
Too Many Burned Out Pastors
Unfortunately, that pastor wasn't the only one to have such
a story last Sunday. Hundreds did. This year, thousands will leave the ministry,
burned out and hurting. From big and small churches, growing and stagnant ones.
This year, thousands will leave the ministry, burned out
and hurting. From big and small churches, growing and stagnant ones.
We hear about the famous pastors when they step down or
burn out. That's the price of fame. And it's a steep one. Both your successes
and your failures are amplified.
But a different price is paid by those who aren't known to
anyone outside their family and small congregation. While the successes and
pains of well-known pastors are spotlighted, the successes and pains of the
small church pastors are ignored and forgotten.
Both hurt equally. Both bear the burden of the problems
that caused them to leave the church, and often the ministry. The pain of the
megachurch pastor is intensified by failing under the unforgiving glare of the
spotlight, while the pain of the other is amplified by failing in anonymity.
Forgotten by almost everyone.
Both scenarios are toxic. They break the heart of Jesus,
they damage his church, they devastate pastors' families, they ruin ministries
and they make it harder for church members to trust a pastor again – or to
trust God again.
Change the Church Success Paradigm
It doesn't have to be this way. It shouldn't be this way.
We have to let go of the unbiblical expectations that have
been placed on pastors' shoulders. That we’ve placed on our own shoulders.
Pastors were never meant to carry this big a burden. No one
person is capable of being the preacher, teacher, vision-caster, CEO, leader,
evangelist, soul-winner, fundraiser, marriage counselor, and all-around paragon
of virtue that we expect pastors to pull off – many of them while working a
full-time job outside the church walls.
But it's been done this way for so many years, it sometimes
feels like a runaway train that can't be stopped.
It must be stopped.
Redefining Success In Ministry
No one can stop this runaway train but us, pastors.
We have to say no.
For some of us, that means saying no to the unreasonable
expectations of our church members, deacon boards and denominational officials.
But for all of us it means saying no to our own unbiblical expectations of
ourselves. Saying no to a paradigm that we have built and perpetuated around a
combination of our own egos and insecurities.
We are not the builders of the church, Jesus is.
We are not capable of working ourselves to the bone
emotionally and spiritually without something breaking inside us.
We are not capable of working ourselves to the bone
emotionally and spiritually without something breaking inside us.
We can't keep pushing ourselves physically with too little
sleep, too much food and too little exercise.
We can't keep neglecting our spouses and families while we
burn the ministry candle at both ends and not expect that everyone – our
families, our churches and ourselves – will pay an enormous price for it.
We have to redefine what success in ministry looks like.
Because too many good people are being hurt as we pursue our current,
unsupportable version of success.
Pray for Each Other
Today, let's pause. Take a breath. And pray.
Pray for the hurting pastors, known and unknown, who have
left a church they loved - and maybe still love.
Pray for the famous pastors suffering under the unbearable
glare of the spotlight.
Pray for the unknown pastors feeling lost and forgotten.
Pray for their families who have borne years of pain
silently, and who are bearing even more right now.
Pray for the church members who don't know whether to feel
angry, sad or something else.
Pray that the God who promised that his yoke was easy and
his burden light, will ease the much heavier burdens we have placed on our own
shoulders. And replace it with his peace, his comfort and his hope.
Contributed by Karl Vaters
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