FRIDAY FUNNIES: NOVENA / NO FISH HERE

 

Novena

There was a young Catholic man who went into the home renovation business. He had previously worked for a house building company, but decided to go out on his own. He was in the business for a while when he decided it was time to go to confession.

 

One of the sins he confessed was that he was stealing lumber. Of course the priest admonished him for doing that and gave him his penance – an Our Father and 3 Hail Marys.

 

A month later, the young man was back in confession and again confessed that he was stealing lumber. The priest asked him, “Didn’t you confess that the last time you were here.” “Yes Father,” the young made said, “it’s sort of becoming a habit.”

 

The priest decided he needed to give the young man a harsher penance so he said, “Do you know how to make a Novena?”

 

”No Father, I don’t.” said the young man, “But if you can get me the plans, I know where I can get some lumber.”

For Non-Catholics: A Novena is a noun and in the Roman Catholic Church, a form of worship consisting of special prayers or services on nine successive days.

 

 

No Fish Here

Arne and Peter decide to go ice fishing. They head out, find a nice spot, cut a hole in the ice, and stick in their poles.

 

Suddenly, a loud voice booms from above, “THERE ARE NO FISH HERE!!!”

 

Arne and Peter look around, look at each other, and look up, and they don’t see anyone.

 

“I suppose we’d better move then,” says Peter. They get up and find another spot on the ice, cut a hole, and stick in their poles with great hopes of fresh Walleye. Once again, the voice booms from above,

 “THERE ARE NO FISH HERE!!!”

They look around, look at each other, then look up. Again, they don’t see anyone. “We best find another spot,” says Arne. So, they gather up their equipment, choose another promising spot on the ice, cut a hole, and stick in their poles.

Once again, the loud voice booms from above, 

“THERE ARE NO FISH HERE!!!”

 

They look around, look at each other, then look up, again seeing no one. Peter calls out, “God in Heaven, is that you?”

 

The voice responds, “NO! THIS IS THE SKATING RINK MANAGER!

 THERE ARE NO FISH HERE!!!”