As a Christian, you believe this person is made in
the image of God, and thus worthy of love, regardless of how far away from God
or from you
By: Dr. Russell Moore
My denomination is dealing these days with a pastor in
California who reversed his position on homosexuality. The pastor said that his
shift coincided with his 15-year-old son’s announcement that he is gay.
This is a situation every Christian should think through,
now. As I’ve said before, at stake on the issue of a Christian sexual ethic is
the gospel of Jesus Christ. But what if, sitting across from you, is your child
or grandchild?
You will, without a doubt, have someone close to you in
your family come out as gay or lesbian, if not already, then sometime in the
future.
How
should a Christian parent or grandparent respond?
One of the reasons this is such a crushing experience for
many is because they assume that their alternatives are affirmation or
alienation. I either give up my relationship with my child or I give up the
Bible. The gospel never suggests this set of alternatives, and in fact demonstrates
just the opposite.
Every child, whether gay or straight, is oriented toward
sin, and so are you. If your child or grandchild says he or she is gay, you shouldn't act shocked, as though you are surprised your child might be tempted
toward sin or that you find your own sinful inclinations somehow less deserving
of God’s judgment.
Your child’s point of temptation doesn't mean that your
entire relationship with him or her should be defined by that. We don’t affirm
what the Bible says is wrong simply because someone we love is drawn toward it,
whether that’s “straight” fornication or gay relationships.
At the same time, that doesn't mean your entire
relationship is now to become a sparring match over Romans 1.
Ironically, those who cut off all relationship with a gay
child buy into the narrative of the Sexual Revolutionaries, that every aspect
of one’s identity is defined by sexual orientation and activity.
As a Christian, you believe this person is made in the
image of God, and thus worthy of love, regardless of how far away from God or
from you.
First
of all, consider what your child is telling you.
He or she could be saying that this is an identity, from
which they refuse to repent. That will require a different sort of response
than if the child is saying, “This is how I feel, so what do I do?” This will
change the way you respond, but what doesn’t change is your love and care for
this child.
Don’t
panic, and don’t reject them.
Say explicitly that you love that child, no matter what,
and mean it. Your relationship wasn't formed by the child’s performance, and
that won’t start now.
If your loved one is a Christian, spend time over the
years discipling him or her about what following Christ looks like. Jesus isn't shocked by his or her temptations, and will not leave him or her alone to fight
them.
The path toward chastity and fidelity to Christ is a
difficult one, and your child or grandchild will need you and the church and
the great cloud of witnesses to cheer him or her on as they walk a path that
can be lonely in a world that too often defines sex and sexuality as ultimate
in life.
If your loved one isn’t a Christian, express your love,
keep the relationship going and be a gracious gospel witness.
God never promises us that our children or grandchildren
will all walk the way of Christ. Every wandering son or daughter needs to know
that if the moment of crisis comes in his or her life, there’s a house waiting
with a fatted-calf party ready to go, welcoming the wanderer home.
One of the reasons this is so hard for some parents and
grandparents is because somehow we assume this issue to be merely a “culture
war” issue, and not a gospel issue. As such, parents are often perplexed as to
how to deal with this in their families because they think this is about them.
They wonder if others will judge them, as though they did
something to “cause” this.
That’s ridiculous, and it leads people ultimately either
to reject biblical teaching to keep their kids or reject their kids (and their
gospel witness to them) for the sake of appearing to keep the biblical
teaching.
At the root of all of that is pride, and I don’t mean
that in the sense of “gay pride” but in the sense of carnal self-seeking.
That’s a temptation for all parents, not just for those of gay children. We’re
tempted to see our children as reflections of ourselves, and we’re tempted then
to keep up our image.
Crucify
that temptation.
God calls us to holiness and to encourage one another to
holiness. The Bible is clear that this means fleeing from sexual immorality,
and that includes same-sex sexual activity (1 Cor. 6). God also calls parents
to love their children.
Be clear about your convictions, and at the same time
don’t exile your child from your life. If we sacrifice grace for truth or truth
for grace, we’re sub-Christian.
Dr.
Moore is the Dean of the School of Theology and Senior Vice-President for
Academic Administration at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He also
serves as a preaching pastor at Highview Baptist Church, where he ministers
weekly at the congregation’s Fegenbush location. Moore is the author of several
books, including "The Kingdom of Christ," "Adopted for
Life," and "Tempted and Tried."
No comments:
Post a Comment