I
Will, With God’s Help
by
Malcolm McLaurin
Peter, Peter, Peter …
Let me be honest here. In some ways … in MANY ways, I
find myself in the same boat as Peter. Wanting to deny the difficult, the scary
aspects of discipleship. Peter was just being honest. He didn’t fully connect
the dots. Yes, he truly and deeply believed that Jesus was the Messiah, but his
definition was pulled from human sources. His definition was one that was
fashioned by the world in which he lived, not the one that Jesus was revealing.
His thinking was based on another model for Messiah-ship, not Jesus’s model. A
Messiah who suffers? A Messiah who is rejected? A Messiah who is killed? These
were not a part of Peter’s idea of the Messiah. Peter’s rebuking of Jesus
reflects this. Peter’s rebuking reflects his shock and his fear.
Like Peter, I am often left in disbelief and denial about
where Jesus is calling me to go. And while I may not rebuke Jesus (WOW! What a
bold move), I do choose not to listen. Or maybe it is that I choose to listen—
not to my heart and soul—but to my desire and fears. Their messages are clear.
They tell me to turn my eyes away from injustice. To ignore the pain of others.
To worry about me and mine. Their messages tell me that the material is the
measure of worth. Their messages run counter to my baptismal promises. To seek
and serve Christ in all, to love my neighbor and myself, to strive for justice
and peace, and to respect the dignity of everyone. The messages from my baptism
are dangerous, while the former are safe and comfortable.
I am reminded of a book I read last summer, The Hate U
Give, by Angie Thomas. It is about a young black girl, Starr Carter, who, after
witnessing a great injustice, is forced into making decisions between what is
right and what is easy and comfortable. With each chapter we are witness to her
struggles to make the right decision, but fear and the loss of comfort make a
worthy opponent. While her decision did not ultimately shield her from danger
and discomfort, it freed her to live the life she was being called into. It
freed her to truly live.
Both Starr and Peter remind me that listening to and
following Jesus, also known as discipleship, will often take us to places and
situations that aren’t comfortable. Following Jesus often involves moving
against the grain of the world around us. But following Jesus—discipleship—always
leads to new life.
I wonder if there are places where fear and discomfort are keeping you from responding to God’s invitation to discipleship?
During
this season of Lent, how might you commit to a practice of deeper
listening?
Living
Well Through Lent 2021
Copyright
©2021 Scott Stoner.
All
rights reserved.
*Malcolm McLaurin is a senior seminarian at
The University of the South: School of Theology in Sewanee, Tennessee, out of
the Diocese of Olympia. Prior to seminary, he spent 20+ years as a lay minister
in the Episcopal church in Arkansas, California, and Washington. His background
is in children’s, youth, and young adult ministry. During his time at Sewanee
he has discovered a deep love of the Old Testament and the Hebrew language.
Malcolm is the father of two wonderful boys, Eli (13) and Myles (9), and the
husband of a patient wife, Hannah. In his free time, he can be found reading,
writing poetry, or engaging in his love of photography.
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