ELEVEN REASONS PASTORS ARE TRUSTED LESS TODAY

ELEVEN REASONS PASTORS ARE TRUSTED LESS TODAY

by Thom S. Rainer

A day does not pass that I do not hear from a hurting pastor. Serving in that role has to be one of the most challenging vocations today. Sure, there are some bad and immoral pastors. But the vast majority of our pastors serve their congregations in a way that honors God and makes a difference in the community.

But both anecdotally and by objective research, we learn that pastors are trusted less and held in lower esteem each year. A recent Pew Research poll found that the favorable view of clergy had declined to 37 percent of those surveyed.

Why are pastors no longer held in high esteem? What is behind the precipitous drop in favorable ratings almost every year? Allow me to offer eleven possible reasons. As you will see, they are not mutually exclusive.

The moral failures of a minority of pastors receive widespread coverage. The media loves the sensational stories behind clergy failure. For sure, some stories such as sex abuse should be brought to the public eye. But many people now believe the bad behavior of a few is normative for all pastors.

Our nation has marginalized the Christian faith. So it should not be unexpected that leaders in the Christian world are viewed more negatively.

Pastoral tenure has dropped significantly over the past few decades. Tenure is up slightly the past few years, but the longer trend is down. Trust is built over several years, not two or three years. Fewer pastors have made it to the point of several years.

Some church members have a strong entitlement mentality. They see the local congregation as a place largely to meet their needs and desires, rather than to serve and give. If those needs and desires are not met, the pastor is often the locus of blame.

Social media encourages criticism from a distance. There is much commendable about social media. Indeed, I am heavy user of it. But it also is a means for critics to sound off about pastors (and others) without forethought or consequences.

A few pastors have poor work ethics. More pastors are just the opposite; they fight workaholism. But the few pastors who are lazy and have little accountability hurt the perceptions people have of other pastors.

Pastors are often the scapegoats for fear and change. It is cliché to say the world is changing rapidly. Many church members would like their churches to remain the same every year. Such a reality is not possible, and the pastor is often the scapegoat for the discomfort that comes with change.

There is a pervasive cynicism in our society. The reasons behind that reality are many. But congregations and their leaders are not immune from this widespread and pervasive cynicism on society that seems to be growing.

There is a failure of some pastors in two key areas: leadership and emotional intelligence. Some pastors are well prepared biblically and theologically. But some have not been taught leadership and healthy interpersonal skills.

There are higher expectations today for pastors to be competent, even dynamic, leaders. But, as I noted in the previous point, some pastors have no preparation to be leaders of churches.

More churches are dying in America today. I estimate as many as 100,000 churches in America are dying. Many will close their doors in the next few years. Many of the pastors of these churches are blamed for this malady.

I love pastors. Most pastors are wonderful servants of God, yet their plights are often very difficult.

What do you think of these eleven reasons? What would you add?

And allow me one footnote: please pray for your pastor.

Seven Things Church Members Should Say to Guests

By Thom S. Rainer

One of the more common questions I’m asked relates to growth barriers. For example, church leaders may want to know how to move past the 150-attendance level of the past five years. Or other leaders desire to know how to break though financial giving barriers.

Those questions are tough because they often presume a brief response to be adequate. In reality, there are many theological and methodological issues at work in growth barriers. Today, I am looking at a very basic barrier: lack of friendliness to church guests.

1. “Thank you for being here.” It’s just that basic. I have heard from numerous church guests who returned because they were simply told “thank you.”
2. “Let me help you with that.” If you see someone struggling with umbrellas, young children, diaper bags, purses, and other items, a gesture to hold something for them is a huge positive. Of course, this comment is appropriate for member to member as well.
3. “Please take my seat.” I actually heard that comment twice in a church where I was speaking in the Nashville area. The first comment came from a member to a young family of five who were trying to find a place to sit together.
4. “Here is my email address. Please let me know if I can help in any way.” Of course, this comment must be used with discretion, but it can be a hugely positive message to a guest.
5. “Can I show you where you need to go?” Even in smaller churches, guests will not know where to find the nursery, restrooms, and small group meeting areas. You can usually tell when a guest does not know where he or she is to go.
6. “Let me introduce you to ___________.” The return rate of guests is always higher if they meet other people. A church member may have the opportunity to introduce the guest to the pastor, other church staff, and other members of the church.
7. “Would you join us for lunch?” I saved this question for last for two reasons. First, the situation must obviously be appropriate before you offer the invitation. Second, I have seen this approach have the highest guest return rate of any one factor. What if your church members sought to invite different guests 6 to 12 times a year? The burden would not be great; but the impact would be huge.

Let’s look at one example of breaking attendance barriers by saying the right things to guests. Presume your church has two first-time guests a week. Over the course of a year, the church would have 100 first-time guests. With most of the members being genuinely guest friendly, you could see half of those guests become active members. Attendance could thus increase by as much as 50 persons every year.

This article originally appeared at ThomRainer.com and is used with permission.

Why it takes 5 to 7 years to become the pastor

BY:
 Thom Rainer

You are the new pastor of the church. Expectations are high on your part and on the members’ part. Perhaps you celebrate with some type of installation service.

You are ready to lead and move the church forward. After all, you are the pastor. Right?

Wrong.

In most established churches, there is a prolonged period before the church members as a whole will truly embrace you as pastor. When that time comes, most pastors enjoy their greatest and most joyous years of ministry.

But the majority of pastors never make it to year five, much less year seven. So why does it take five to seven years to be embraced as the pastor of most established churches? Here are seven common reasons.

1. It takes a long time to break into established relationship patterns. Many of the members have been around for decades. They have their friends, family members, and relationship groups. Pastors will not meaningfully enter into many of those relationships for several years.

2. You are creating new ways of doing things. You may not think you are a major change agent, but your presence as the pastor changes things significantly. You lead differently. You preach differently. Your family is different. The church has to adjust to all the changes you bring before they begin to embrace you fully as pastor.

3. Most relationships do not establish fully until they go through one or two major conflicts. The first year or two are your honeymoon years. The church thinks you are absolutely great. Then you do something, lead something, or change something that goes counter to their expectations. Conflict ensues. You are no longer the best. So you have two years of honeymoon, one to two years of conflict, and one to two years to get on the other side of conflict. Then you become the pastor in five to seven years.

4. The church is accustomed to short-term pastorates. Many churches rarely see a pastor make it to the fifth, sixth, or seventh year. They never fully accept the pastor, because they don’t believe the leader will make it past the first major conflict.

5. Previous pastors wounded some church members. There are many reasons for this reality, some understandable and some not. In either case, a previous pastor hurt some church members, and the members take several years to accept a new pastor and learn to trust again.

6. Trust is cumulative, not immediate. This reality is especially true in established churches. Regardless of how the ministry unfolds, it simply takes time before church members are willing to say with conviction, “That is my pastor.”

I know. I wish we could snap our fingers and enjoy immediate trust. But, in most churches, it just is not going to happen quickly. It will take five to seven years.

Are you willing to stick around to enjoy the fruit of a long-term pastorate?

Dr. Thom Rainer is president and CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources of the Southern Baptist Convention.

How to lead with confident humility

God will bring people and experiences into your life that will keep you humble. Instead of resenting those people, welcome them, laugh about them—or, better still, listen to them. They may be just what you need to keep you from becoming arrogant and self-centered. 

Stay close to Christ. The Scripture records that every time someone saw the Lord in His glory, their first reaction was fear and self-loathing. “Depart from me for I am a sinful man, O Lord,” said Simon Peter. “I am a man of unclean lips and dwell in the midst of people with unclean lips,” Isaiah cried. 

The closer you are to Christ, the more aware you are of your own sinfulness and inadequacy. That’s why the apostle Paul wrote, “I am the worst of sinners” (1 Timothy 1:15) and “May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Galatians 6:14). 

There’s a balance that’s needed here. Some go to the extreme and don’t take advantage of the leadership role God has given. When Joseph was promoted from the prison to the palace in Egypt, he accepted the perks that came with the position and used them to lead effectively. He wore Pharaoh’s signet ring, linen robe, and gold necklace. He rode in Pharaoh’s impressive chariot with its security personnel. He didn’t confuse humility with reluctance. He recognized that God had gifted him and equipped him to lead. 

When Esther was selected as the queen, she didn’t refuse to reign or take advantage of her lofty position.  She acknowledged that God had brought her into the kingdom “for such a time as this” and used her influence to save her people. 

A General needs to wear additional stars.  The orchestra director needs to be the only one with a baton.  The President needs to be surrounded by Secret Service.  There’s a place for proper dignity, authority symbols, and leadership perks.  The High Priest in the Old Testament days was to wear distinctive clothing.  The Bible does say we are to respect those who are over us in the Lord (1 Thessalonians 5:12).   A local preacher needs to be esteemed and loved.  The idea of leading from behind is mostly a myth. 

Spiritual leaders are most effective when they feel comfortable in their own skin and yet lead with a servant’s heart. The great stage and film star Sir Laurence Olivier was once asked what it took to be a great actor. He responded, “Humility enough to prepare and confidence enough to perform.”  That’s the balance that’s needed in ministry. 

Enough holy fear to remain dependent on God every day, yet enough confidence in our divine call that we remain strong and courageous no matter how challenging the assignment. 

“All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:5-7). 

Excerpted from After 50 Years of Ministry: 7 Things I'd Do Differently and 7 Things I'd Do the Same, by Bob Russell

Sometimes different is accpetable

After his 15 year career in pro basketball, Rick Barry had hit a remarkable
 89.9% of his shots from the free throw line. But Barry also had one of 
the weirdest free throw shots—an underhand shot known as the "granny style" shot.

The stats don't lie—Barry's style seems to work better than the more familiar
 (and cooler looking) traditional free throw shot. As Barry said, "From the physics standpoint, it's a much better way to shoot. Less things that can go wrong,
 less things that you have to worry about repeating properly in order for
 it to be successful." 

In 2008, when Discover magazine asked a physics professor who agreed:
 the 45-degree arc angle and the natural backspin both increase the odds
 of the ball going into the net, relative to the more common method.

Wilt Chamberlain, a former NBA great who holds the record for the most 
points scored in one game (100), once tried it out. Over his career, 
Chamberlain made a pathetic 54% of his free throws. But on 
March 2, 1962, when he scored his 100 points, 
Chamberlain used the granny style approach 
and hit 28 of his 32 free throws.

So chances are, for many players shooting underhand is a much better strategy.
 So, why don't more players use this free throw style? (And why did Chamberlain
 give it up?) Rick Barry and Malcolm Gladwell propose a simple answer: 
because players are too embarrassed or too proud—or both. It looks silly,
 and most players would rather miss shots than look like a "granny" 
and score more points.

Seven Common Reasons Pastors Get Cold Feet

I must admit that I am a raving fan of Thom Rainer. I always appreciate his insight. Today I read this from an email from Thom Rainer. 

Many people have this naïve view that a pastor just has to preach and love people.

Not so. Pastors certainly have to give a priority to preaching and ministry to others, but the pastor’s week is filled with unexpected and multifaceted demands.

Many times pastors need to lead the church in a new endeavor, something that gets the members out of their comfort zone. And sometimes it gets pastors out of their comfort zone.

Relocation. A new ministry. A second campus. New staff and changing staff positions. Purchase of property.

These are but a few examples of leadership challenges some pastors have not seen before. These challenges not only require basic leadership skills, they require leadership skills in often-untested areas.

Change leadership. Financial risk-taking. Breaking of routines. New paradigms.

When pastors face these new challenges, it is not unusual for some to get cold feet. They decide the pain is not worth the potential gain. They get cold feet and settle for the status quo. Why? Here are seven of the most common reasons.

1. The critics. Major change often engenders major criticisms. Too many leaders will stick with the status quo until their churches are on the path to death. They just want to avoid the critics. Remember, the vote to go to the Promised Land lost 10 to 2. They naysayers yielded to the critics, the whiners, and comfort-seekers.
2. The energy drainers. These are the people ready to vote no before they hear the motion. They always have a better idea. They want to tell you what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. And they will wear the pastors out . . . if the pastors let them.
3. Lack of knowledge. Pastors are often placed in positions of leadership and relatively large budgets with no preparation. It’s hard to lead a challenging project if you can’t read a financial statement. And while pastors can find more seasoned laypersons to help them, the pastors’ lack of knowledge can be a showstopper.
4. Prayerlessness. With God all things are possible. But if pastors have gotten too busy for God, they are too busy to lead forward. Frankly, pastors should have cold feet if they have not prayed about their own leadership and the endeavor they are about to lead.
5. Short-term view. Pastors who don’t plan to hang around long can have cold feet about leading projects that may have a longer view. I have advised many pastors not to move forward on a major endeavor unless they plan to see it through. So cold feet in this case is probably the right temperature.
6. Inadequate staff and lay leadership. I get this one. I spoke with a pastor this week who expressed concerned about the leadership around him. He was not sure he would have the right team for a major and visionary endeavor. I urged him to look behind his present team and see if God would raise up some other leaders in the church.
7. Faith-as-idea. It really sounds exciting to take steps of faith . . . until it’s actually time to take those steps. To continue the Promised Land metaphor from point number one, leaders get to the edge of the Promised Land and freeze in their tracks when they see the challenges (see Numbers 13). Any step of faith will have its challenges. The question is: Is your faith bigger than your fears?

We need an army of church leaders who are bold and courageous. We need the spirit of Joshua 1 instead of Numbers 1. I pray for our pastors. I pray they will truly be the courageous people God has called them to be.

We really need to move forward to our Promised Land.

7 Ways to Be Thankful Every Day

The past several weeks has been a difficult time of pastoring. Today I had a person email me and included this statement: "I have attended our church for over 30 years and I must say that the church's current climate (morale, attendance, and general negativity) is one of the worst that I've experienced."  

My heart is breaking over a time of transition for our pastoral staff and the rumors are running wild. No one seems to understand that I was blindsided by this situation and have been dealing with it for over 3 weeks now. This evening I received this good new, which I found very trustworthy and thought I should share.  Be ready to be encouraged....

‘Learn to be thankful for what you already have, while you pursue all that you want.’

SUCCESS Staff

1. Appreciate the things you have.

Coach John Wooden emphasized the importance of being thankful by quoting Lao Tse: “Freedom from desire leads to inner peace.” He also added his own words of wisdom: “The great secret of life is to cultivate the ability to appreciate the things we have, not compare them.” Coach often encouraged us to not take for granted the many things we have that we did nothing to earn, such as life itself, the beauty of nature, the great country we live in, or the love of our family and friends.

2. Keep a gratitude journal.

Science has fallen over itself proving how gratitude makes you not only a warmer person but a healthier one. “Previous research has linked gratitude to improved mental health, lower levels of anxiety and improved sleep,” says Blaire Morgan, Ph.D., a research fellow at the University of Birmingham in England. “Our own research has demonstrated a strong link between gratitude and three different measures of well-being: satisfaction with life, subjective happiness and positive affect.”

The idea of the gratitude journal, as with most of your leading forms of mindful personal development (meditation, controlled breathing, ringing the Salvation Army bell, doing yoga in a 105-degree closet), is theoretically wonderful, a warmly resonant concept designed to blast rays of sunshine into your dull cement world of commutes and credit card APRs and Facebook. Gratitude journals are the opposite of work-intensive, requiring only a pen, pad and a handful of quiet moments. You can keep them anywhere. They’re meant to be mentally refreshing, spiritually invigorating, and free of expectation or reciprocation—a crystal-blue example of pure instinctual human goodwill.

3. Focus on being grateful.

“Learn to be thankful for what you already have, while you pursue all that you want.”

I believe one of the greatest lessons in life we can learn is to be thankful for what we already have. But gratitude is something we have to work at—to prepare our hearts to be reflective and thankful, to provide room for contemplation of our good fortune.

And if we want to be the kind of people who are characterized by thankfulness, by gratitude, then we must make sure that we focus on it at all times during the year.

Here are some words, some thoughts that are simple and practical to apply, that you can use right away in your quest for becoming more grateful.

4. Show you care.

“Thank you.”

It’s a simple phrase. Short. Sweet. But how often does it actually come out of your mouth? It’s kind of surprising how hard it really is to make saying thanks a “thing”—something that comes naturally, that you don’t have to put on your to-do list.

It can slip your mind. You’re not sure how to say it, or show it. And sometimes it feels awkward (complimenting—giving and receiving—doesn’t come easily to everyone).

But none of these excuses gets ride of people’s innate need to feel valued and appreciated, to be praised and recognized, for their work.

5. Get in the feeling good habit.

Every night as you’re getting ready to go to bed, spend a few minutes thinking of all of the things that you were grateful for during that day. This is especially important when you’ve had a bad day and it seems as though there is nothing to give thanks for.

I understand this can take work, especially when negative emotions are getting the best of you, but this is important. Sometimes you just have to push yourself. Maybe you closed a deal with a business associate or had a few laughs with a friend. Maybe you received a compliment. Or maybe you did something nice for someone or someone did something nice for you and it lifted your spirits. It can be as small as a snack you enjoyed or a parking space you snagged. Believe me, you’ll come to find that it’s well worth the effort because you will be creating an attitude of gratitude, a habit that’s conducive to making you feel good and enjoy your life.

6. Have an attitude of gratitude.

Are you a grateful person? Thankful for the good things, big and small, in your life?

In the hustle of to-do lists and work deadlines, sometimes it’s (too) easy to block out the details of the day, forgetting that each and every day holds precious gifts. From the air we breathe to the friendships we hold close, there is always something to be thankful for.

With the season of thanksgiving upon us, here are 15 quotes to inspire a life of gratitude.

7. Fake thankfulness.

Philosophers have long known that as the mind goes, so go the emotions. A pithier way to say that would be, we become what we think.

Along with neurological chemistry, people with depression are often caught in “negative feedback loops.” Someone feels negative, so they think—i.e., tell themselves—negative thoughts. Those negative thoughts reinforce the original negative feelings leading to more negative thoughts… and down and down we go.

Fortunately, that downward spiral also works in reverse, not by first feeling positive and then thinking positive thoughts, but instead by intentionally thinking positive thoughts that lead to genuinely positive emotions.