“Criticism is never pleasant, but sometimes
necessary.”
 |
| By: Charles Stone |
If you serve in a church, criticism comes with the
territory. I doubt that any pastor or leader likes it. But, we must deal
with it in a God-honoring way. One way to do that is to understand why people
criticize us. I’ve listed below what I believe are seven reasons why
church people criticize pastors with a suggested response to each.
Why church people criticize pastors:
1. They lack spiritual maturity.
Some
people criticize you because they think it’s part of a Christian’s job
description. After all, “Pastors need to avoid pride and some good healthy
criticism can keep ’em humble.”
• Response: Don’t be surprised
that you get criticized. Make sure that your church has an intentional
spiritual formation strategy to help people think and act more biblically.
2. They feel they are losing the church they
once knew.
As we get older, we must deal with
the inevitable results of aging, slowing cognitive function, and reduced
flexibility and resilience. Seniors in your church may feel that changes you
are bringing are taking away the church they grew up in. Guess what? Unless we
stay resilient as we age, when we get older we’ll probably feel the same
way.
• Response: Give a gracious
listening ear to seniors and seek to empathize with them by stepping into their
shoes. Try to see their concerns from their perspective.
3. They don’t feel they have a voice.
Some
church people can feel that their opinions don’t matter and so criticize to get
their voice heard.
• Response:
Provide opportunities that give people a way to give input. I’ve
heard Patrick Lencioni, leadership author and guru, often say that people will
support you if they feel that they’ve been truly heard.
4. They don’t deal with change very well.
Some
people are born more adverse to change than others. Their brains are wired that
way. Their fear circuits are more easily set off by uncertainty, and change
brings uncertainty.
• Response: Recognizing this
fact will give you greater tolerance and understanding of why some people tend
to criticize more than others. Again, empathy will go a long way to help these
folks feel more comfortable with change and less critical.
5. They need to find something or someone toward
which to vent their hurt caused by other life issues.
Some
people in your church project their personal hurts through criticism. Criticism
helps ease their angst, at least for the short term.
• Response: Although this is not
a pleasant reality, it is true. A wise counselor once said, “The past is not
past until it is processed.” Many in your church still carry heavy loads of
guilt and anger that can easily spill over toward you through criticism. I
suggest prayer in response to this kind of critic.
Prayer could fit into a
response for every category I’ve listed, but it’s especially apropos in this
case. If you sense that others are projecting their pain toward you through
criticism, ask the Lord to heal their hurt and to release their unforgiveness,
bitterness and pain.
6. They are truly malevolent people committed
to your demise.
• Response: Although I believe
these critics are few, they do exist. If you face this kind of person in
your church, take bold action. Titus 3.10 commands us to warn a divisive person
once and after that have nothing to do with them. Sometimes extreme cases
require you to apply church discipline.
7. They have a point.
Sometimes
the criticism is valid and you need to hear it.
• Response: Listen and heed. When
the criticism reflects a valid issue, learn from it and make appropriate
adjustments in your life or ministry. Proverbs 27.6 says, “Faithful are the
wounds of a friend.”
Criticism is never pleasant, but sometimes necessary.
Dr. Charles Stone is Lead Pastor at West Park Church in London, Ontario, Canada, and the founder of StoneWell Ministries, a pastor coaching and church consulting ministry.
No comments:
Post a Comment